Hold The Salt And Pass The "Round-Up"

It seems the chemical companies are a tad upset with our First Lady.

Michelle Obama has planted a garden. Rumor has it she had some help. She invited a group of 5th graders to help her out, as a school project. It is also my understanding that the produce from the garden is to be utilized in the White House meals.

The chemical companies don't have a problem with Michelle Obama growing a vegetable garden. I'm assuming they don't have a problem with the First Family consuming the produce from the garden, or serving it to their guests.

What the chemical companies do have a problem with is that Michelle has chosen not to serve a "healthy" dose of chemicals along with the fruits and vegetables she is growing. It seems Michelle has chosen to go organic. The chemical companies are concerned that she is sending consumers the wrong message. They seem to think she should be out in her garden with a plastic jug, fitted with a nozzle, and a brightly colored logo depicting one of their companies prominently displayed on the side. In order to be fair, I suppose she should also don a big floppy straw hat which has also been affixed with a logo, of yet another chemical company. Perhaps her children could be pictured waving little banners with the logos of any other chemical companies that may want to be included in this homey little display. But no, this First Lady has chosen to forego the chemicals.

How dare the First Lady of our country deprive her family of the chemicals so readily available, so conveniently packaged for the general public's consumption? Has she not heard and accepted the wisdom in the phrase, "Better living through chemistry?" Perhaps she is unaware that "chemistry" and "chemicals" are interchangeable in that phrase.

Then again, maybe Michelle Obama just missed the memo stating it was our patriotic duty to do everything possible to support big business, especially those that abuse our environment, even if that means willingly ingesting the poisons they offer.

Hasn't she heard? It's the American way!